I Don’t Want To Live Without My Person
Written by Sue Burhoe
Loss and Grief: Often when one experiences deep grief, they can feel utterly lost, and a sense of why carry on, a why bother living feeling can creep in. This is normal. It’s also not the same thing as wanting to die. It’s not caring if you do or not.
When we experience a loss and grief this big, we must make space for it. Trying to fit it into what you or someone thinks it should look like only puts borders around it. Grief will not have it. It needs as much space as it needs. We heal inside that space by attending to ourselves and our pain. It’s funny, not really, there is a whole pharmacopeia of pain meds when it comes to the body, but when we talk about deep grief, we are left to feel it. Feeling it truly is the only way through it. With enough space and time, the pain does soften, somehow someway. Finding meaning again is possible when we don’t want to live and carry on without our person.
Give your grief as much space as it needs. Use distractions and even denial as breaks from it. Remember, you can have many emotions at one time, and grief does not have to be center stage 24/7.